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Re: Gone (Chapter One)
Firestarter found all the mistakes I found and I agree. It's good and sad, well described. Good job. Keep up the good work. I really enjoyed this part: The suffering ...
May 10, 2005 -
Re: No Tears, No Pain
I liked it. The rain was beating rapidly on the card door, when he opened it and leaped from it's concealing. The by passers, striding passed him only gave a ...
May 4, 2005 -
Re: Little Lies (continued)
Yeah I agree with mysterywriter on this. "Can you believe how crowded it is?" She asked exsaperated. THIS SHOULD BE A NEW PARAGRAPH. Sorry if I look mad but caps ...
May 3, 2005 -
Re: Love is Only the Beginning: Chapter Twenty
Yeah that part was a little confusing. Yeah i put 9 months later on my comp at home but forgot to add it onto here...or in this case, what I ...
May 3, 2005 -
Re: Eulogy of A Dreamer: Just Let Me
Wow! Usually I don't read stuff like this cuz I don't really care for the same sex people being together, but I liked it. The way you described it was ...
Apr 28, 2005 -
Re: Little Lies
Hey Jade! I like the way you started this one. Pretty much all I saw wrong with it was some of the grammer and puncuation like Mattie said. Did I ...
Apr 28, 2005 -
Re: Once the fog settles theres hope(feelfreetotellmewhatuthink)
Hey Jade! Well, as I told you before I like it but there are some errors...I agree with Griffinkeeper. And even though it's okay to start a story that way...there ...
Apr 26, 2005 -
Re: Puzzle Pieces (13+for some language)
It was good...I don't know what you mean when you say it sux. I really liked it...probably because it reminds me of my boyfriend. LOL but thats not the point ...
Apr 2, 2005 -
Re: Untitled - Just a little practice
I think you really did a good job. It's better than I would have done on a try. LOL! No seriously you really did a great job. I think my ...
Mar 31, 2005 -
Re: Precious Illusions
Good job once again. I like this more and more each time I read it. My only suggestion is that maybe it would be a good idea not to put ...
Mar 31, 2005 -
Re: raindrops at dawn
It's great. It really felt like I was there by the way you discribed it. I liked the way you told the chapter and did not see much wrong. My ...
Mar 31, 2005 -
Re: The Journey (New name) Chapter One
I like it so far and can't wait to read more. Only problem I saw was: “My only wish,” she began after a silence, “my only wish is that you ...
Mar 26, 2005 -
Re: Silent Kisses. (13+)
Well, that is a lot to read. It's good...but too much for me to crit. LOL! Anyway, there a lot of places where you should begin new paragraphs like for ...
Mar 16, 2005 -
Re: Complicated love; Chapter Two (13+)
I really liked it just like I liked chapter 1... I didn't see any errors besides the others that have critted this. I really like this story and can't wait ...
Mar 15, 2005 -
Re: New Story!(chapter one)
Deidre? Who's that? Okay at the begining, who is telling the story? Wow! I wish I had read it on real kids...I haven't been on there much lately. Anyway, I ...
Mar 10, 2005